1/1/2011 happy new year!

woahhh. it felt weird to write that date. i haven't blogged since last year! December 7th of 2010 to be exact! poor little blog! I don't know what happened. lets just start off by saying..
happy birthday to alexis (she turned 7 on the 28th!) ; merry christmas! ; and happppy new years to everyone! What a year it's been. We've all been through so much and a new year feels like a new start! YES!:)
ill start writing more regularly this year. im just not going to write much now because it's almost an hour into the new year... and im off too sleep in a bit! here's some pictures, which starting this year, every picture i share will be tagged, from the past year!





- nicki xo

12/7/2010

i love this picture.. my friend E and I took it today hanging out.. it reminds me of christmas time.. im not sure why though! it sort of seems like we're hiding.. waiting for santa or something.. anyway i love it! (:
- nicki xo

12/6/2010 a walk down memory lane..

when i was younger.. i never understood why my parents took the time to take pictures. why do we need pictures? we have our memory right?
these days, im still not sure why i take pictures. why take the time to upload, edit, develop pictures? but today i got out the scrap books.. the old albums nobody ever has time to look through. i opened them up.. and i quickly, very quickly, understood why pictures are always taken.

me. ellie. i was about 5. im guessing she was a few weeks old. i never think about that day.. that day when i begged mommy to put ellie in my lap so i could hold her . but when i looked at the pictures.. the memories came flooding back. i remember thinking how tiny her feet were.. how cute her little bathing suit was.. i loved her so much and i never wanted to put her down.
or this picture. alexis.. so full of pride!
or this one.. i loved kindergarten more than anything in the world.
and oh my this one.. little ellie and alexis.. i honestly cant believe they were ever THAT little!


and this day i remember very clearly.. i wanted to go very high on that swing because i was certainly not going to be scared.. so i asked.. and no doubt my brother gave me the biggest push he could! it was a very sunny day.. warm.. blurry in my memory of course. but that's why we have pictures.. they make us remember.. all good memories.
- nicki xo

11/26/2010 move night!

movie night w. S,H,E,E,and K was lots of fun!:)
- nicki xo

11/23/2010 whos out there?

im pretty certain that it's just me in my little blogging corner of the world, but i would like to know.. whos out there? (: i love readers!
if you have a few extra seconds, I would love to know if anyone reads here . . Just leave a quick comment, even if it is just your name!

( ellie holding my leg :') )
- nicki xo

11/21/2010

i la la la love my friends <33
- nicki xo

11/20/2010

i was soooo happy i got to see ellie and alexis today!

of course i was also excited to see her! look how CUTE she is!


she cries about 4 times a day since the day she was born;)

the picture above is my favorite of the day!
& this last one is a failed attempt at getting a picture of all three of us smiling. the flash was on, alexis on my hip , well i dont know what she was doing. ellie had the cheesiest smile ever.. :b
- nicki xo

divorce.

Well hello. This is a little awkward! I can't believe it's been a few weeks since i blogged! It's not the much time i guess, but a loooott has happened. Not just since my last post, but since a few months ago. When I first asked for prayers.. or even before that. It has been such a difficult pathway.. with so many tears.. i honestly can't believe it's all over. i often just stop and take a second to think how better everything is! I think it's like this for everyone family that goes through what we went though. it's different for all families. some horrible. some not. ours was.. not the best. a divorce. it's difficult to talk about.. to find the right words.. but nobody will force me to talk about it. everything was just very hard. we are a family of my parents, my brother, myself, and my two younger sisters. the toughest decision? our parents were diving us. some people would judge them and say that thats a terrible thing to do... which at the time it was a horrible horrible thing to do. but now , though still very hard, my sisters are not with us ( here come the tears!) its crazy to think that i cant see them everyday. there's regrets .. not to long ago i blogged that i was fading apart from Ellie. i regret that SO much! but like i said a million times already, it was hard. i cryed so often... im sure ellie did too. this was all weird for us. it makes sense now actually though, that they divided them two from me. i still see them. just not nearly as much. once a week maybe? twice? not enough. but i soak up there cute little faces and giggles and take pictures whenever we're together. there's not certain time of when we can see each other which i love.. im hoping to see them friday. the last time we were together was... last thursday.. :/
now that its all over.. we can all breath. thank you to everyone and anyone on here, in person, family, friends that prayed for us. it meant SO much. new chapter of life.. we're ready!
when it comes to this blog... i will probably just blog when im with them. who knows.. tomorrow could bring anything it wants to.. i learned that the tough way!
these pictures are from 11/11/2010 (last thursday). . . .



- nicki xo

So. Busy!

10/27/2010 it's cold & windy!!!!!!!

YUP... it's soooooo cold and very windy! I HATE IT! I didn't even know how windy it was until after school. I stepped outside of the building, and I was almost knocked of my feet! The wind howled and my hair was everywhere while I searched for my ride... NO ride of course! My luck right?! So I yanked out my cell-phone and with frozen fingers I managed to hit the '6' and click send.. i waited inside until my ride came!
i realllyyy hate the cold weather! or is it just the wind? i could go on forever about how much this sucks.. but the thing i really hate is that tomorrow is moving day & the weather is going to be the same as today! speaking of moving, it just exhausts me thinking about it... packing, unpacking, cleaning.. folding.. stacking.. ugh! but we'll make it through this! im very excited because i know once we move, get settled down, things will hopefully be much better! praying!

( look how cute & comfy someone looks! )

( pretty much sums up how i feel about the weather.... )

- nicki xo
p.s... right now, it's 39 degrees outside! :(

10/26/2010 a little bit of what i love♥

(in no certain order)... i love..

( alexis! so much! shes a giggly little girl whos always screaming, yelling, laughing, or crying! i love her more than words can explain and we're so blessed to have her!)

( the shaytards! if you've never heard of them.. i would recommend you watch there daily vlogs! I really love them. they're an amazing family! This is a picture of there 3 of 4 kids! They are become even more famous You-tuber's by the day, so catch on to reality as fast as you can! http://www.youtube.com/user/shaytards)

( the Gosselins! regardless of their parents, i love these kiddos! theyre so adorable and funny! i love watching them on t.v... even though i have a strong opinion that they should be taken off the show.. more on that later. maybe? :p )

( blogging! oh my goodness! I don't do it very often anymore.. but i love every part of blogging!)

( ellie! crazy girl.. so much fun! we seem to be growing apart and i hate that! i love her to death!)

( facebook. this isnt even a love. its an obsession! (: )

( this angel! shes so talkative now.. and shes getting smarter and naughtier by the hour!)

( ava rosemeyer! this little girl has completely changed my view on the world! may she rest in peace.. i love you ava!)

( sheye rosemeyer photography! SERIOUSLY LOVE!)

( and lastly, youtube. it provides hours of entertainment and music.. and yes that is alexis!)

- nicki xo

10/22/2010

i'll be back when im back up on my feet.
i wrote that on my last blog post. only 6 days ago, but so much has changed since then! I'm not back up on my feet yet, but i miss this place! Some things are better... while others? well others are so much worse. I'm going to start opening up a little more.. so here it goes.
Well next weekend, Alexis has surgery.. we're praying for the best on that one! we're sure everything will go smoothly.
I not to long ago lost two friends. Ones that only a week ago I couldn't have imagined not being in my life... but now, i realize that really the only people you need in your life is the ones that need you need in theres. loosing two friends that go to the same school as you brings the drama & attention level up big time! It's not easy to go to school with curious people wanting to know exactly what's going on, and questions constantly being asked.. but i try my best to answer them in the best and most honest way i can!
In all this craziness.. i forgot to thank God for the amazing 14 years of life he has blessed me with! On October 18 I turned 14 and I can't believe how much I have been through! I am so thankful for everything though! for being able to be a big sister twice, for all the opportunities.. for e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g!
Another big thing has happened, & others are happening, but i cant get the guts to say it! I don't personally know anybody on this blog, but it still makes me nervous. how do i write it? will it come out wrong? i dont want anyone to get the wrong idea...
on a much lighter note today i babysat this little 'angel' while here mum shopped.. oh my goodness. what a handful! this girl was NONSTOP from the time we got to the store! she never stopped moving and i cant believe i managed to get a picture of her actually looking!

( she loved looking at the carousel whenever it started, but she did not want to get on it!)

( she loved this elevator! she squealed every time we got on it!)

( people at the mall were staring.. i think they were getting the idea that she was my baby!)

( this was probably as dangerous as it looks... she sat for about 5 minutes then was up like a wild woman and we took her out!)

- nicki xo
p.s. i forgot to mention.. we're moving! AGAIN! hold on with me!