12/7/2010

i love this picture.. my friend E and I took it today hanging out.. it reminds me of christmas time.. im not sure why though! it sort of seems like we're hiding.. waiting for santa or something.. anyway i love it! (:
- nicki xo

12/6/2010 a walk down memory lane..

when i was younger.. i never understood why my parents took the time to take pictures. why do we need pictures? we have our memory right?
these days, im still not sure why i take pictures. why take the time to upload, edit, develop pictures? but today i got out the scrap books.. the old albums nobody ever has time to look through. i opened them up.. and i quickly, very quickly, understood why pictures are always taken.

me. ellie. i was about 5. im guessing she was a few weeks old. i never think about that day.. that day when i begged mommy to put ellie in my lap so i could hold her . but when i looked at the pictures.. the memories came flooding back. i remember thinking how tiny her feet were.. how cute her little bathing suit was.. i loved her so much and i never wanted to put her down.
or this picture. alexis.. so full of pride!
or this one.. i loved kindergarten more than anything in the world.
and oh my this one.. little ellie and alexis.. i honestly cant believe they were ever THAT little!


and this day i remember very clearly.. i wanted to go very high on that swing because i was certainly not going to be scared.. so i asked.. and no doubt my brother gave me the biggest push he could! it was a very sunny day.. warm.. blurry in my memory of course. but that's why we have pictures.. they make us remember.. all good memories.
- nicki xo

11/26/2010 move night!

movie night w. S,H,E,E,and K was lots of fun!:)
- nicki xo

11/23/2010 whos out there?

im pretty certain that it's just me in my little blogging corner of the world, but i would like to know.. whos out there? (: i love readers!
if you have a few extra seconds, I would love to know if anyone reads here . . Just leave a quick comment, even if it is just your name!

( ellie holding my leg :') )
- nicki xo

11/21/2010

i la la la love my friends <33
- nicki xo

11/20/2010

i was soooo happy i got to see ellie and alexis today!

of course i was also excited to see her! look how CUTE she is!


she cries about 4 times a day since the day she was born;)

the picture above is my favorite of the day!
& this last one is a failed attempt at getting a picture of all three of us smiling. the flash was on, alexis on my hip , well i dont know what she was doing. ellie had the cheesiest smile ever.. :b
- nicki xo

divorce.

Well hello. This is a little awkward! I can't believe it's been a few weeks since i blogged! It's not the much time i guess, but a loooott has happened. Not just since my last post, but since a few months ago. When I first asked for prayers.. or even before that. It has been such a difficult pathway.. with so many tears.. i honestly can't believe it's all over. i often just stop and take a second to think how better everything is! I think it's like this for everyone family that goes through what we went though. it's different for all families. some horrible. some not. ours was.. not the best. a divorce. it's difficult to talk about.. to find the right words.. but nobody will force me to talk about it. everything was just very hard. we are a family of my parents, my brother, myself, and my two younger sisters. the toughest decision? our parents were diving us. some people would judge them and say that thats a terrible thing to do... which at the time it was a horrible horrible thing to do. but now , though still very hard, my sisters are not with us ( here come the tears!) its crazy to think that i cant see them everyday. there's regrets .. not to long ago i blogged that i was fading apart from Ellie. i regret that SO much! but like i said a million times already, it was hard. i cryed so often... im sure ellie did too. this was all weird for us. it makes sense now actually though, that they divided them two from me. i still see them. just not nearly as much. once a week maybe? twice? not enough. but i soak up there cute little faces and giggles and take pictures whenever we're together. there's not certain time of when we can see each other which i love.. im hoping to see them friday. the last time we were together was... last thursday.. :/
now that its all over.. we can all breath. thank you to everyone and anyone on here, in person, family, friends that prayed for us. it meant SO much. new chapter of life.. we're ready!
when it comes to this blog... i will probably just blog when im with them. who knows.. tomorrow could bring anything it wants to.. i learned that the tough way!
these pictures are from 11/11/2010 (last thursday). . . .



- nicki xo